We get there just after 8pm, see our friends in line, have a couple laughs – The future Hubby and I haven’t been on a date in a while and haven’t been to a hip hop concert inside of the city since…. since… We looked forward to the night out. He hadn’t heard of Jay Electronica – so I hoped this would restore his faith in hip hop.

Anyway.. long story short.. get up to the window and hand the woman my license only to be told that my name is not on the list and that it was probably removed because the list was so long.. HUNH? How does that make sense?

So – I get home and e-mail Jeremy D (the guy that told me I won in the first place) about the bogusness (yes – I said bogusness) of the situation and he gives some tidbits that don’t help me: 1. the promoter swears my name is on the list 2. I need to return to the window and get my tix (yeah – that’s cute – I’m 40 minutes away now)…

Then he tells me that basically it was my fault – because I didn’t e-mail him right away from the ticket window. I’m sorry – I don’t make it a habit to carry my laptop around with me to hip hop concerts. Epic FAIL on his part for trying to blame ME in this situation. So – I suggested that from now on he leave paper tickets for winners at the door – since he knows this type of thing is an issue (another tidbit he shared with me – thanks Jeremy) :-/

Whatever… in the end – The future Hubby and I took a nice stroll through Greektown, stopped for some coldstone and thought about how nice it would be to get some wedding shots on the steps of Old St. Mary’s Church.

In other news… I went paper shopping in Royal Oak yesterday with one of my Bridesmaids who happens to be the BOMB graphic designer.. We wanted to check out Envelopments paper for my invitations and programs, etc.

I LOVE Envelopments paper – but what I DON’T love is Write Impressions. They have TONS of great paper goods and fun little gift ideas.. but customer service they do NOT! They were down right rude and inconsiderate. Which is crazy – because there weren’t that many people in the store and it was a good 20 minutes before we even asked for help. Something as small as a quote seemed to be too much for the salesgirl to handle. She didn’t even say – “I’ll be right back” when she got up to give her co-worker money for lunch.. despite the fact that I was mid sentence with a question. And she argued with me for a good minute about envelopes even when I told her to go ahead and put them on the quote – despite my lack of desire to purchase them. And then… she randomly got up to check the weather on the internet.. so we just took the half finished quote and waved goodbye while she chatted on the phone with a friend about the weather.

Needless to say – we’ll be be trying to find the Envelopments paper somewhere else.

Seriously – what is it with people?

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Technorati Tags: Envelopments, Jay Electronica, Old St. Mary's, Public Media Group, Write Impressions

We’ll certainly nail one down by June 30th – so I’ll keep you all posted..

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Now – as long as I can remember… I’ve met many, many women who have come to the point in their lives where they take their hubby’s name. But for some reason – as the time for me to make that switch comes closer and closer – I am starting to feel like re-introducing myself to society is a little 9th hour. I mean – I know “that’s how it’s done.” But why??

I’ve been me for almost 29 years.. almost 30 years by the time of the wedding.. and I’m VERY comfortable with who I am. I’ve learned my habits, changed a few and learned to love myself and be the best me I can be.. and now I’m supposed to change all of that?

On the flip side.. I’m becoming a wife to a WONDERFUL man.. a man I’ve known would be my husband for 17 years. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be “Mrs. DetroitBoy.” I imagine what it would be like to walk into a room and be called- “Mrs. DetroitBoy” – for the first time. I’d turn around and coyly reply – “Yes?” (::eyelash flutter::)

That’s just what women do.. they change their last name in America and become known as someone new… and re-invented.

But I’m the same old DetroitGyrl..  but with a hubby now..I’m the dancer, the artist, the chef, the daughter, the writer (oh yeah – and I’m published in my field – changing my name would most certainly confuse things). And I’m not sure I’m ready to just BE SOMEONE else.

The future hubby and I have had conversations about hyphenation and changing my last name to a middle name.. and even me just taking his name. I just can’t decide – so many pros and cons. And at the end of the day – I don’t mind being referred to as Mrs. DetroitBoy – I’m just not sure I want to legally CHANGE my identity..

Thoughts?

~DetroitGyrl

(ps – and no – I’m not trying to destroy the institute of marriage or emasculate my DetroitBoy by keeping my name.. I’m just trying to make the best decision for US, me, my career, my SANITY, etc.)

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Technorati Tags: Idea, Tradition

DetroitGyrl here! I am honored to fill in as a guest blogger here on 12k Wedding (for the next year and a half – or so). I’m newly engaged. the future hubby “dropped down” New Year’s eve while we were on vacation in New York. So romantic! Now we’re dedicated to bringing our friends and family members the best PAR-TAY they’ve ever witnessed. We call it:  “The kick-off party for our Marriage.” We have chosen not to use the W word because so many people get hung up in that one day. Instead we think of it as a great time to show our dedication for each other and party with our friends and fam right at the beginning of the second (and most major) part of our journey together. We envision lots of dancing, laughing, eating, spirits… and did i mention dancing?

Here’s a little background… We’ve known each other our entire lives.. our parents know each other and two of them work together. We’ve dated on and off since the nineties and decided to get serious at the end of 2007. Now we’re planning a Summer 2011 PAR-TAY (wedding) in Detroit for 200+ people. Our budget? 10-15K – we’ll just say 12k for now.

So – join me as I highlight some of the GREAT and HORRIBLE things about wedding planning. I’m only doing this once – so it ought to be good!

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From the start I had so many issues with our wedding invitations and when they finally got mailed, I only halfway liked them. So, consider this post my gift to you, the die-hard DIYer, queen of crafts, and budget bride.

And now, my words to the wise:

Pick Up a Shape-Based Pricing Template From Your Local Post Office

USPS Shape-Based Pricing Template

I got mine (free from the post office) pretty late in the game, but if I would’ve known about it earlier it would’ve saved me a whole heap of trouble. Basically it’s a 12×16 cardboard guide that gives guidelines for allowable mailing sizes. Postage rates aren’t listed on the board, but I’m guessing it’s because they change more often than the measurement restrictions. I almost made the mistake of printing our Save the Date cards too small for mailing, by some stroke of luck went to the larger size at the last minute. If I’d have had my handy-dandy First-Class Mail Shape-Based Pricing Template, I wouldn’t have found myself in that situation. Just sayin.

Double and Triple Proofread All Text

We’ve lived at this address for years. And somehow, I managed to let the wrong address slip past me on the RSVP cards. Great. With no time, or budget to have them reprinted, I had to write on every single one of them, changing a 1 to a 0. Really, it could’ve been changing a 1 to a 4, but clearly that would’ve been too easy. So even after you’ve checked the text 3 times on all pieces, check it 3 more times, just to be sure. Avoid the tackiness of handwritten corrections at all costs.

Research Envelopes Beforehand

Again, another one of things I wish someone would’ve told me. I was so excited to order the wedding invitations that I didn’t pay any attention to the envelopes that they would eventually have to fit in. Never mind the fact that I got the bigger invitations because they were “still so reasonably priced”. Come to find out, envelopes come in standard sizes (e.g. A5, A7, etc.) and cards used for invitations can be ordered in a variety of other sizes. I ended up having to have our wedding invitations reprinted because to order the special envelopes in the right-sized would’ve put us waaaay over budget. Just do yourself a favor and stick to the standard stuff.

Buy Stamps Early

Especially if you’ll have standard letter-sized (and letter-weighted) wedding invitations, do yourself another favor and buy Forever stamps early in the process. I’m not sure when the next rate increase is, but you’d rather be safe than sorry. Yeah, the special wedding stamps are nice sometimes, but they cost more and do the same thing which is get the invitation from point A to point B. Sure you’ll only save a few pennies per mailing, but depending on your number of guests, those savings could add up quickly.

And that my friends is my two cents based on my wedding invitation debacle…uh…I mean experience. Feel free to share your wedding invitation mailing tips in the comments.

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Technorati Tags: envelopes, postage, RSVP, Save the Dates, USPS, wedding invitation mailing, wedding invitations

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I ordered the invitations with dimensions 6″ x 9″. I ordered them with a treatment that would make them glossy in certain areas like the border adn on the words.

They came in the mail yesterday. And while I still really like Chris’ work, I’m kicking myself for a few reasons.

1. They’re an odd size. Our envelopes are too big for most standard envelopes, and now we have to order envelopes in special dimensions and we have far fewer options
2. The glossy treatment doesn’t look as good as I thought it would. In the areas that are treated, instead of just looking glossy, the color looks different altogether
3. We payed extra for the glossy treatment, and I think the invitations would’ve looked better in a plain matte finish. We could’ve saved money and gone with a different printer that printed in smaller quantities.
4. We have 1,000 each of the postcards and the invitations. What on earth are we going to do with all of them? The only reason we ended up with that many is because this is one of the few companies that does the glossy treatments and that was the smallest quantity they’d print in.

Sneak Peek of the Invitations and the Different Color Borders

Of course, once the company ships your order, all sales are final. After all, I highly doubt two people with our exact names are getting married at our exact venue on our exact day.

I did contact their Quality Assurance department though, because of the blatant color difference. They agreed to review our prints but I have to mail some of our samples back to them so they can see for themselves.

Most wedding checklists suggests we mail the invitations 2 months before the wedding, which for us would’ve been June 22nd. Since we’re already behind schedule, I’m worried that putting it off any longer is not really the best idea.

Regardless, I’m going to send back some samples tomorrow and wait a few days to hear from them. If they take too long or refuse to reprint our invitations for us without the glossy treatment, we’ll just be forced to order the specialty envelopes.

Lesson Learned: When doing something in a non-traditional way, investigate the traditional way to understand why it’s worked so well for so long. Don’t blatantly neglect these standards when going your own non-traditional route.

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101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 1-25

101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 26-50

101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 51-75

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76.    Use silk flowers in your real bouquet to replace those blooms that you really want but are too expensive or difficult to get
77.    If you have a bar, nix the iced tea/punch offered by the caterer. Your guests can soft drinks from the bar instead
78.    Before you purchase anything online, use a site like retailmenot.com to find discount codes and promotional coupons
79.    Use Ball canning jars as vases. You can usually find a case of 12 for less than $10.
80.    Grow your own wheat grass to use for centerpieces or to hold the escort cards
81.    Use chalkboard paint and chalk to transform a piece of plywood into a seating chart
82.    For the groom and the groomsmen, most places will provide a free tux for the groom with 5 or 6 paid rentals.
83.    Use carnations. One of the most expensive flowers, carns look gorgeous when bunched together instead of just being added as an afterthought
84.    Use branches from your own yard to serve as the tree to hold escort cards
85.    Use a clothesline with clothespins to display your escort cards, especially if you’re planning an outdoor wedding
86.    Check sites like travelzoo.com for hotel deals to block rooms for your out of town guests
87.    For the cake, skip the intricate adornment work and instead opt for a plain cake with simple details that can be dressed
88.    Have your rehearsal dinner at a local eatery that’s special to you as a couple. It doesn’t need to be formal, so choose a limited menu within your price range
89.    Add your wedding and engagement rings to your current homeowners or renters insurance policy and get a multiple-policy discount
90.    Skip the videographer. Instead, have a family member document your day. It’ll be a lot less expensive (hopefully, free!) and a lot more meaningful
91.     Sew your own ring bearer pillow. Of course you can add your own style to it, but simple directions can be found at http://www.ehow.com/how_17555_make-pillow-ring.html
92.    If you absolutely must use a credit card to pay for your wedding, which I highly discourage, find a card with 0% interest or a cash back feature: http://moneycentral.msn.com/banking/services/creditcard.asp
93.    If you’re interested in using a live musician during the wedding ceremony, contact the Music School at your local University and offer the gig to a talented student
94.    Instead of providing a full open bar for your guests, choose a few signature drinks that will be available throughout the night. This will cut down on the variety and amount of liquor that the bartender will need to stock
95.    Skip the champagne toast. Instead, guests will naturally just toast with whatever they have in their glass at the time.
96.    Host wedding parties (bridal shower, bachelorette party etc.) at someone’s house rather than renting a separate space
97.    Have your wedding in a park or other natural space, where little to no extra décor is needed
98.    Use your bouquets or pew arrangements as reception décor, either a the cake table or head table.
99.    If you’re completely overwhelmed and have no idea where to start, hire a wedding planner. If you really research and find a good one, they will actually save you more money than you think with all their industry connections and insight.
100.    Find your flowers at local farmer’s markets. In Detroit, for instance, the Eastern Market is a great resource for a wide variety of inexpensive flowers
101.    Look for contests online to find giveaways on everything from dresses and shoes to airfare and spa services

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Technorati Tags: Bar, Decor, Flowers, Free Stuff, Discounts, Contests, list, rings, Wedding Party, Wheat Grass

101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 1-25

101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 26-50

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51.    Search the internet for DIY videos done by other people. You can find them for everything from bouquet arrangements to cake baking. DIYnetwork.com is a good place to start
52.    Grow your own flowers for your wedding. If you start early enough, and grow flowers native to your region, you should have plenty to use in bouquets or centerpieces
53.    Use fruit as centerpieces. Apples, Oranges, Pears and Lemons have good color and are far less expensive than flowers. Plus, what your guests don’t take with them, you can donate to a local food bank
54.    Search etsy.com for handmade goods that are unique and customizable. Some items are just as expensive as mass made goods, but if you do a little digging you can find some good values
55.    Watch wedding related forums and message boards, especially those local to your area. People will often post about their good experiences with little-known vendors who offer a really good deal. Theknot.com and partypop.com are good places for this
56.    Stay on top of your budget. Keep all your contracts in one place so you know exactly where they are if you need to refer to them. Question every line item to be sure it’s something you should be paying for
57.    Keep a spreadsheet or use software to manage your budget. Know exactly how much you owe each vendor and exactly when that amount is due
58.    Sew your own garter
59.    Rather than pay someone you don’t know to officiate your wedding, ask someone close to you to become ordained. You can do so online without much trouble.
60.    Instead of hiring a and or a dj, enlist the help of a friend and use your iPod to keep the crowd entertained. Create your playlists beforehand and have your friend keep an eye on it.
61.    Plan your wedding yourself. Wedding planners are nice when you can afford them, but if you’re working with a tight budget, you can take on the role yourself.
62.    Be willing to compromise on the food you serve your guests. Lunch is always cheaper than dinner and buffets are generally cheaper than plated meals. Work with your caterer to find the best balance between your ideal situation and your budget
63.    Everyone wants whiter teeth for all the pictures they’ll be taking on their wedding day, but instead of splurging for zoom whitening, use a drugstore kit. It may take a little more effort, but the results should be comparable
64.    Find non-bridesmaid dresses for your bridesmaids. Just because they’re not labeled as such, doesn’t mean they can’t be worn as bridesmaid dresses. Shop department store websites, where they’ll usually have a decent amount of stock and in many different colors. And chances are if it doesn’t have the bridesmaid dress label, your girls will be more likely to wear it again.
65.    Ask only your closest friends to be your attendants. The more attendants you have, the more you’d spend should you choose to give them gifts.
66.    If your ceremony or reception venue are already very ornate or make a statement by themselves, go light on the décor. Years from now, no one will hardly remember what your centerpieces looked like
67.    Use address numbers from the hardware store for your table numbers
68.    Use saveoncrafts.com for DIY supplies
69.    Keep all your receipts for everything you buy. You may not use something and need to take it back. You’ll want to get back every penny you can for it.
70.    Shop Black Friday sales the day after Thanksgiving in brick and mortar stores for deals on things like craft supplies, dresses and shoes.
71.    Shop Cyber Monday the Monday after Thanksgiving online to find deals similar to those on Black Friday
72.    Take advantage of free shipping for anything you order online, even if it means you have to wait a little longer for it. Patience is a virtue
73.    If you have a vintage feel to your wedding, visit antique stores and flea markets to find deals on décor. As a bonus, you can use the pieces in your home after the wedding.
74.    Use a site like bagborroworsteal.com to find jewelry and other accessories for your wedding day that you might not be able to afford otherwise.
75.    Use a wholesale club like Sam’s Club or Costco to purchase flowers for your DIY bouquets and centerpieces

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Technorati Tags: Bridal, Candleholders, Candles, Detroit, Florist, Flowers, fonts, Hair, hairpiece, Headpiece, Invitations, letterpress, Makeup, postcard, Save the Dates, Shoes, veil, vendors, Wedding

101 Ways to Save on Your Wedding: 1-25

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26.    Sew your own veil with tulle from the fabric store
27.    Create your own hairpiece from silk flowers and feathers from the craft store
28.    Send postcards as Save the Dates and save on postage and paper costs
29.    Avoid letterpress printing for your invitations. Although it might be one of the nicest printing methods, it’s also one of the priciest.
30.    Use construction paper as one element of your DIY invitations. It will add lots of texture, with only a little expense
31.    Avoid hiring a calligrapher and use a computerized script font instead
32.    Limit the number of pieces in your invitation suite and save on postage, since it’s based on weight
33.    Use flowers that are locally grown and in-season and avoid the cost of flying them in during the off-season
34.    Use a storage or organization box or basket for your card box that you can re-use in your home after the wedding for storage
35.    Befriend someone in the event planning industry. They often have access to discounts to wholesalers and rental vendors
36.    Do your own makeup, hair and/or nails
37.    Have your hair, makeup and nails done at a cosmetology school like Aveda. The cost is lower and the results are usually just as good
38.    Design your invitations yourself and have them printed by a company like gotprint.com. Once you get them, add a little interest yourself either with embossing or a similar technique
39.    Serve cupcakes instead of cake. Cupcakes are often cheaper and can help you avoid a cake cutting fee that most caterers will charge
40.    Depending on your décor, you may be able to find some things at a site like Oriental Trading Company. While most of the items aren’t necessarily for a wedding, you might find a diamond in the rough
41.    Watch sites like craigslist.com and freecycle.org for free and inexpensive items that people are just looking to get rid of.
42.    Repurpose mason jars as candleholders
43.    Shop the brick and mortar outlet versions of your favorite stores like Crate and Barrel, Pier 1, and Pottery Barn
44.    Get your wedding shoes from the clearance section. This is easiest to do when they’re off-season, but make sure you check the clearance area often as the selection often dwindles quickly
45.    Support local business. They are often more flexible and willing to work with you to achieve your goals
46.    Barter services. If you happen to be a talented computer progammer, offer to create or update a website for a vendor in return for their services
47.    Let vendors know when you’re dissatisfied. They’re often willing to accommodate you and knockdown the cost, rather than risk a bad review or unhappy client
48.    Look for your honeymoon travel on sites like priceline.com, cheapcaribbean.com, travelzoo.com, and farecast.com
49.    Travel during the offseason for your honeymoon, even if it’s months after your wedding. Rates will be cheaper on airfare and your hotel
50.    Dafont.com and 1001freefonts.com offer a range of free fonts that you can use for your invitations and any other paper projects

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Technorati Tags: Bridal, Candleholders, Candles, Detroit, Florist, Flowers, fonts, Hair, hairpiece, Headpiece, Invitations, letterpress, Makeup, postcard, Save the Dates, Shoes, veil, vendors, Wedding